PimpmyFM

FMReporter for Football Manager Graphics
 
HomeFAQSearchRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Posh
Webmaster
Webmaster
avatar


Managing : Ulisses FC

Posts : 3362
Career Goals : 21450
Location : Pembrokeshire Wales

PostSubject: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie   2012-01-16, 18:54

No. Description
1 A man with a bright red face and enormous flared trousers.
2 The local town nutter who declares that he loves his local team so much and never,
ever, misses a game, before mysteriously disappearing somewhere during the second half.
3 The failed tactician. Usually stands behind managers dugouts in a mid-nineties Adidas
training coat, Farah slacks and shiny shoes, bellowing out various disastrous
instructions to all and sundry.
4 Some old dear selling Bovril for the 61st consecutive season.
5 The players wags - usually huddled together in the few half decent wooden seats that
are available. And even at this level they're always stunning... why is that ?
6 The half-time raffle where the prizes are mostly things like 4 cans of Mackeson Stout,
a box of out of date Terry's All Gold, or a half empty can of Lynx.
7 The condemned stand. In most non-league grounds you encounter a thin piece of red and
white tape that's the only thing separating you from certain death on a relic that has
stood empty and disused since 1987.
8 Dodgy advertisement hoardings. These usually include a local haulage firm, an Indian
takeaway, something where half of the advertisement has dropped off, and a taxi firm
that went out of business 3 year ago.
9 A dodgy section of the pitch. Used to great tactical effect by the home team, often
resulting in long balls pumped to the sloping left-wing, daisy-cutter shots towards
the molehills, and random bounces on the concrete-like goalmouth area.
10 The 40 year old club veteran. Usually a central defender with a nose like a hammer, but
sometimes a journeyman ex-pro called Dave, Barry, Mick, or Alan.
11 The desperate Dad. Father of one of the younger players, he spends the entire match
shouting and rawping at him in the full knowledge that his lad is never going to be
quite good enough to 'make it'. That trial at Brentford will never come around again.
12 The bloke who positions himself near the dug out so he can berate the manager regardless
of the team's form or performances. Likes a pint in the social club with the failed tactician.
13 Packets of crisps at the tea bar from manufacturers you've never heard of and that
probably don't even exist. Brands like Bensons or His Nibs.

14 The annoying intermittent tannoy system that was given to the club back in 1974 by the
local bus corporation. It hardly worked back then, now it just sounds like
Norman Collier has taken over the pre-match announcements.
15 The pre-match announcements. Come on, does anybody listen to them ? He could
be droning on about balsa wood for all anybody knows. In actual fact, he's usually
thanking the local print firm for the match sponsorship or playing records such
as "Eye of the Tiger" or anything by Phil Collins.
16 A couple of spectacularly bored six year olds brought along by an elderly relative
desperate to institutionalize them into the ways of supporting the local team.
Moments after kick off they'll start kicking a discarded Coke can about for the
remainder of the match.

17 The fancy-dan wannabe. Easy to spot - he's the only wearing white, gold or red boots.
And a hairband. Normally tries a couple of fancy flicks with his first few touches
before being taken out by the 40 year old club veteran.
18 Some half-daft old dear on her own in the seats wrapped in a bizarre, home made
club scarf and wearing an equally homespun woolly hat. Her mood will swing from
quiet benevolence to incandescent rage at any innocuous refereeing decision.
There's also a good chance she'll be knitting.
19 The drunk in the social club. He only goes because it was the only place he could get
served before all day drinking was allowed. Hasn't yet realized the law was changed
in 1989. Even the bloke who positions himself near the dug out and
the failed tactician try to avoid him.

20






A massive, clapped out old telly in the social club. It was probably made by PYE.
Back to top Go down
FootyFowler
Forum Geek
Forum Geek
avatar


Managing : The mighty Vauxhall Motors. As well as Barnet, Napoli and England on the PSP

Posts : 96
Career Goals : 10815
Location : Sheffield

PostSubject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie   2012-01-17, 17:29

My dad is mates with the father of the leading goalscorer of the club, and we always stand have a chat with him, he is great, we travel everywhere watching them. Occasionally we hear the odd, "Fucking Hell Ash (the player's name), you should have buried the Looking at the Moon" and that's about it. Haha, and we always get a bovril! Shame, the game is off tonight.
Back to top Go down
FootyFowler
Forum Geek
Forum Geek
avatar


Managing : The mighty Vauxhall Motors. As well as Barnet, Napoli and England on the PSP

Posts : 96
Career Goals : 10815
Location : Sheffield

PostSubject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie   2012-01-17, 17:30

it says looking at the moon, i dint put that, i put c**t
Back to top Go down
FMGeek
Injured
Injured
avatar


Managing : crewe

Posts : 386
Career Goals : 13529
Location : London

PostSubject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie   2012-07-13, 20:03

And about a few hundred fans on their own singing in the corner Razz
Back to top Go down
Jelly
Vice President
Vice President
avatar


Managing : to do the YMCA whilst under the influence of alcohol

Posts : 1484
Career Goals : 16187
Age : 23
Location : Crawley

PostSubject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie   2012-07-14, 23:52

I wish I could tell you...but a year is such a long time! NPOWER LEAGUE ONE BABY! Wink CTFC!
Back to top Go down
FMGeek
Injured
Injured
avatar


Managing : crewe

Posts : 386
Career Goals : 13529
Location : London

PostSubject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie   2012-07-15, 08:28

Blue square south ftw Wink
Back to top Go down
Pringers
Top Poster
Top Poster
avatar


Managing : Arsenal

Posts : 3316
Career Goals : 16306
Age : 27
Location : Wales, UK

PostSubject: Re: Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie   2012-07-15, 11:09

I have never been to a non-league football match Razz

I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to games I go to watch Wink
Back to top Go down
 

Things You Always See or Hear at Non-league Footie

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
PimpmyFM :: English Football :: Non-League Football-
Designed by Vic Posher
Copyright © 2013 FMReporter.com All rights reserved.Forum free | © phpBB | Free forum support | Contact | Report an abuse | Free forum